#reallife

     Well, here I am a year and 9 months since my last blog post sitting down to blog again...I have always looked at some of my friends blogs and thought "I should really do that! What a great way to record memories." I've tried and failed on more than one occasion to get started over the last few years. There's a few things different this time: my kids are a little older, I'm sitting at a regular computer at a desk instead of my iPad app (The app is not as user friendly.), and my life looks a LOT different than it did back then. But the main thing different this time comes from the sermon at church this morning.  It was all about social media and how we wear a "veil" and we only show what we want people to see and not "real life". See, that's why I've never been a great blogger! My friends blogs are amazing! And don't get me wrong...they aren't putting on a show! They are posting the great family things they do and using their blog to record it all...an online scrapbook. I wanted my blog to look like theirs, in some ways my life to look like theirs. Here's the thing, my life, my personality, the way my family operates DOESN'T look like theirs! I tried to blog like them, but what was just capturing everyday life for them, for me was "planning moments to be captured for a great blog post".  While I'm sure I will never be a daily blogger and my blog will OFTEN contain pics of my kids, this time around I want this blog to just document "real life" for us. 
      Here's where I'm at today...2014 has been a crazy year for us! In March, my husband resigned from his ministry job. Maybe 2 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. We had wanted baby #3 just a few months earlier, but the timing was just off. It was a mix of happy and not so happy emotions. My first appt...I was 8 weeks and baby looked great. Fast forward 4 weeks, and I'm at my next appt with just the kiddos.  I had ALMOST asked Kev to come with me the night before but he was set up to sub and I decided I was just being silly.  Possibly the longest few minutes of my life as the doctor did the ultrasound, but I knew before she even told me that the baby had no heartbeat. In fact, the baby did not live much past the first appt where we had seen and heard a healthy heartbeat. My body did not miscarry on it's own and in fact I was already beginning to have a small "baby bump".
     Now fast forward a little, as I'm sure you can already imagine the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that immediately followed-shock, fear, anger, blaming myself, etc. For the most part, life has gone on and it is rare that I dwell much on the miscarriage. Just a few weeks after our miscarriage, a couple that we know experienced one of their own. For the first time, I understood their pain and could cry and grieve along with them...It also brought back some very raw emotions of my own. Since then, I've had brief moments or passing thoughts. And then today...you see, several things hit me today. (1)  I saw a couple in church with a precious newborn baby which is always a slight mixture of emotion. (2) I realized I would've been 31 weeks tomorrow, so close to meeting sweet baby #3! (3) Life events around me that remind me of my own due date...You see, my best friend's son turns 1 this week. Her middle son and Z are almost exactly one year apart and when I found out I was pregnant, I was excited that our third babies would be just slightly over a year apart.  My cousin is due in just a few weeks with #2. She told me the same day I told her that I was pregnant with #3 and I was excited that even though we live far away, we would have babies about the same age.  And then, a good friend here is due in December and is beginning to get that cute baby bump.  While I'm super excited for all 3 of these events in their lives, it has hit me this week how quickly the time has passed since and how close I'm nearing to the time when I would've been meeting my own sweet baby #3.
     Now all of that said, I'm not blogging this for a pity party nor will I post about every "real life" bad situation that happens but this is where I'm at tonight.  This story however would not be complete without me telling you about how amazing God is through it all! Like I said, Kevin was subbing so I left my appt and had to drive to the school to tell him in person. He offered to leave work, but I told him to stay. My inlaws drove up to take my kids..a huge blessing and I had to run a couple errands to get ready for the D&C. First, I received a phone call that the doc office failed to have me sign a consent form. I arrived at a different location to fill out the ppw and met the sweetest lady.  As I was sharing with her a little bit, we realized that we had several things in common-a common friend and ministry. She prayed with me before I left that office and she has no idea how much she blessed me that day. My next stop was the hospital for bloodwork. I showed up and got set up. There were 2 younger guys drawing blood that day and they were giving each other a hard time and had me and the other lady there cracking up...again, a God thing on this emotional day! And then my friends started texting after the D&C and my sweet husband set up for them to deliver my favorite snacks, lunches, etc for a couple days and one friend brought me the most priceless gift ever...a necklace she made as a tangible reminder/memory. God used so many people in those first few days to bless me and help carry me through, some dear friends and some strangers who have no idea the impact they had on my day! 

January 2013

Well, here I am once again way behind. I have been doing lots of reading after the kids go to bed and just can't seem to find the desire to blog. Then I read others' blogs and think "I should really do this! What a great way to document this time with my family!" So here it goes again...
January was a slow month for us after the rush and travel of November and December. We got back into the routine of preschool and spent a lot of time cuddling and watching moving INDOORS. ;)
We had a family movie night and pulled out a blanket, turned on the fireplace, and brought the tv downstairs. Rylee was so excited when she saw the blanket with our dinner on it and said "we get to have pizza AND a picnic!?"
 

We had some friends over for a fun morning of cakeball decorating and playing. I didn't get many pictures but we sure had fun!
 

Z was on a "How to Train Your Dragon" movie kick. Notice the dragons all over my bed while he was watching. ;)
 

He is also a big fan of Super Why. He was trying to wear a big pair of play sunglasses but settled for the bandana around his head. The sunglasses kept falling off as he yelled "zoom" and took off running down the hall. SO CUTE!!
 

After a MOPS meeting about children needing a chance to get messy we had a fun shaving cream playtime at the kitchen table. The kids loved it! Mommy is still trying to loosen up more in the area of messes. :) But it was a start!
 
 

Rylee played lots of dress-up. Here's a pic of my favorite outfit so far. Notice the cow socks and princess shoes. :)
 
Well, that was January in a nutshell!